2016 was an interesting year. I quit radio in Columbia, moved to the beach, couldn’t find a job AND then moved home to Gastonia. Moving to the beach wasn’t my smartest decision but for the first time in years I busted out my balls & took a chance. Again, not smart, but for once I did something without having a plan. It’s been a very, very long time since I took a chance. It needed to be done.
Once I moved home I decided to go into teaching. Most people were SHOCKED that I chose to teach but truth told, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. When I was in college my goal was to become a teacher. Once I fell into radio I abandoned my plans to become a teacher. I fell in love with radio & decided to pursue a career in that field. Luckily, it worked out for me.
Sadly, teaching just didn’t work out for me. I truly enjoyed it & I think for a newbie I did pretty well. I definitely connected with the kids & I think I helped many of them but it was not something that worked out for me. I have an autoimmune disorder so being around kids & germs was not festive for my body. The stress didn’t help my cause either. I taught for six months & I was constantly sick for six months. I get sick very easily, I always have, but holy hell man! I spent more on doctors the last six months than I was making! It just wasn’t worth it. I went lateral entry into teaching so I was able to teach without a teaching certificate. I would have three years to obtain my teaching license. The more I thought about it the more I realized it wasn’t for me. I liked it but I didn’t love it. I didn’t enjoy it enough to go into debt to go back to school to obtain my teaching license. Bummer but at least I was honest with myself.
I have always had the utmost respect for teachers. I have many friends that teach & I have always said that to teach you must be a “special” person. I ain’t that special of a person! It’s shocking to me that teachers don’t make more money. I’m saying that because I now know first hand what teachers go through. The work/planning is constant, the emotional toll it takes on a person is crazy AND teachers put up with a ton of disrespect from students. I don’t wanna sound like one of my parents but kids today……………………DAMN! Not all kids are disrespectful but there are lots that truly have NO home training. It’s sad. And disturbing. And I was smart enough to realize that the teaching profession was not my calling.
Being constantly sick for six months has taken a toll on me. Physically & mentally. I’ve been wicked depressed the last few months. Not fun! I’m sure part of the depression is due to suppressing some of who I am. I spent years being a balls out, wide open, crazy rock chick and to teach I had to hide some of who I really am. Some of my personality had to be shelved in order to teach & that definitely added to my depression. Those that know me know I don’t hide my feelings well. It’s also hard for me to hide who I am. I tried hard to be a “grown up”, I really did, but sadly it just doesn’t work for me. It sucks that I couldn’t “master” the art of teaching as I am one of those people that likes to conquer anything I do. I’m somewhat upset with myself for not being the best teacher ever! BUT….I do give myself credit for having the guts to try something new. It’s cliche but it’s true: if you don’t try then you’ve failed.
For all of my teacher friends, you are truly AMAZING! What you do is not for the faint of heart. You are kick ass! You should be told daily how wonderful you are. I cannot thank you for all the help & encouragement!
As for me, well I’m jobless & looking for a gig. I’m trying to find some direction. Radio? Stand up? Blogging? Something I’ve never tried? We shall see. For now I’m a chick in her 40’s living with her Dad. Sitcom material right there kids! Good times.
I’ll figure something out soon. I always do. And even though I’m not exactly sure where I’m gonna end up I know that I’ll be ok….eventually. At least I can take comfort knowing that I have taken some chances. Busting out the ole balls was good for me. Hopefully I’ll continue to be “balls out” & take chances. But for now, school’s out FOR-EVER! \m/