Dating….holy hell the horror!

It’s been a few months since I’ve written anything.  I’m gonna try & get back to it weekly.   Tonight seems like a good time to rock out a lil rant.  I’ve had a few beers & I’m annoyed…..SO let’s get into it!

I haven’t had a “real date” in over two years.  Yep.  Now I realize for some folks this isn’t a big deal.  For me it’s a HUGE deal!  My last record was three months & I’ve been dating since I was 17 so two years is a BIG deal.  The closest I’ve come to dating, which translates into the only “steady” sex I’ve had in two years, has been with a band dude.  He’s WAY too young to keep & I don’t see him that much so I guess you could say I’m a lil frustrated.  (Sorry Mom & Dad)

Now I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a bit picky.  Having been in radio for so long I realize that some dudes only wanna date me for concert tickets.  OR cause they think I can help their band.  OR cause they think it’s cool to date a radio chick.  OR they just wanna bang me for the “story”. As I get older I get better at weeding out the idiots.  By weeding out the idiots I think I’ve become a bit cynical.  I don’t really trust anyone.  AND unfortunately I’m RIGHT for not trusting.  I can’t lie…at this point in my life I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be single til I drop dead.  Crazy dog lady…right here!

An example:   I’ve talked to a guy for over a year.  We chat, we text but we’ve never hung out.  And he doesn’t want to.  He just wants to sleep with me.  Now don’t get it twisted….since I haven’t dated in a while I enjoy the attention.  And I’m bored.  So I flirt back.  There’s no feelings…no shot at a relationship.  I know it & he knows it.  Today he texts me about a girl that I’m friends with on Facebook.  He thinks she’s hot..and she is!  No question.  Then he starts to ask me questions about her.  I was offended.  Not because I was jealous or hold any kind of feelings towards this dude.  I was offended because it’s just fucking tacky.  I mean, I’m not a pimp!  If you’re a 40 something year old man then you should be able to find out information on a woman you find attractive.  If you are that smitten here’s an idea….ASK HER YOURSELF!  I mean, are we in Jr. High School?  Holy Hell man!

Another example:  I have known a guy for years….great dude, funny & really cute.  Way younger than me.  He just moved close to me.  Prior to him moving we chatted about seeing each other…hooking up.  Again, nothing serious but I thought that maybe he could be a steady hang out bud and possible hook up dude.  (Again..sorry Mom & Dad)   He moves, I hit him up & ask him if he wants to hang out AND nada. I’m sure he moved & after day one found a hot chick more his age. WHICH is fine!  No feelings invested so no issue.  But fucking man up & tell a chick.  I mean, once ya discuss getting naked either follow up or don’t do it.   WTF?!

Dating now consists of texting dick pics and talking a bunch of shit.  No one is up front.  No one is honest.  It’s all a game.  I realize dating has always been a bit of a game but gimme a break.  Maybe it’s my age.  I think I’m at that point in my life where I’ll just call out bullshit.  And sadly it seems that most dudes are full of bullshit.  Now I DO now that there are nice guys out there…I truly believe that.  Sadly I don’t think those are the dudes that dig me.  I haven’t given up hope..the cynicism hasn’t totally taken over.  I just don’t have time for the bullshit.

I have some girlfriends that do the online dating thing….Match, Tinder, etc. I’ve tried it but it just seems so unnatural to me.  When you meet someone there are sparks.  You dig someone because of their looks, their intelligence, their sense of humor.  Online dating just seems kinda creepy.  Guys sending messages that consist of “Hey pretty lady….”  or “Hey sexy girl”….   You don’t know me!  You may think I’m attractive physically but I could be a total cunt.  You’re just trying to see if I’ll meet you so you can try and bang me.  NOPE!  Sorry but I meet enough freaks in real life & I have enough freaks that sends me messages on FB.  I sure as hell don’t need an online dating site to help me reel in the wackos!

A friend of mine sent me a profile pic of a guy on Tinder.  Good looking dude…40 years old.  In the visible info he put his dick stats.  YES…dick stats!  The length & girth.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!  Now if this dude was 21 I MIGHT not bust his balls.  I’d give him a pass for being young.  But you’re a 40 year old man & you put dick stats?!  By the way I’m pretty sure he was lying.  BEST part about this dudes profile was that just underneath his dick stats he put “looking for a loving & intimate relationship”   I’M SORRY?  ARE YOU SERIOUS?  Cause nothing says I’m a serious man like throwing out dick stats & then saying you want a loving relationship. Get the fuck outta here dude.  You’re an embarrassment.  Truly.

Of course, I can’t just blame guys.  I realize I’m a bit of a bitch.  I’m not your usual chick.  I’m mouthy, outgoing, sarcastic, independent & I don’t take a lot of shit. I’m hard to date….I get it.  You have to be a very confident person to date me.  On the flip side I’m also a girly girl so I want a dude that treats me as such.  Maybe I have an impossible vision of what I think a mate should be.  OR maybe the world we live in is just so twisted that I’ll remain single forever.  Truth told…I can live with that.  I get to hold the remote control & can do whatever I want whenever I want.  But hells bells!  I WOULD like to snuggle & get crazy with another person before I die.  I just refuse to lower my standards or do the online dating thing.

I think the older you get the more you know your true self.  My true self calls out bullshit.  My true self realizes lots of people have ulterior motives. My true self realizes that I’ve been through a ton of crap & I don’t trust easily.  My true self realizes that sometimes I trust TOO much & really believe people when they say stuff.  My true self also realizes that I’m gonna be a single bitch for a few years easy cause my true self just hates all the bullshit.

Rock on! Thanks for reading!  And don’t get offended dudes….it’s how I feel at the moment so don’t get all girly & whiny.  I realize there are good guys out there….don’t freak out.